Blind

Hesitation runs through my limbs. The shaking begins, first in my hands, like someone else is controlling my every move, then in my arms, then my entire body. The infamous butterflies are let loose in my gut.  To try and fight them off is to start a war with myself. The nerves are unbearable. My only option is to change. Hiding behind my morals is what should be done but instead, I dive head first into the pool that holds my desires... A mask of some other being disguises my insecurities, and guides strangers through mazes. With a soft pleasurable hand, this being leads acquaintances down alleys, through tunnels, and wrong turns. In order to escape the light which may allow others to see the heart that is kept chained inside this masked being. 

Distraction is the game that is played. Keep them looking in other directions, then attack. Pretend to love them and they will forever love me. Keep them happy and I will be kept happy. This mask has left me blind. Blind to what I see. Blind to what I feel. Blind to what I do. 

I wish we could say we are all blind, we are all wandering without aim, searching for nothing, yet hoping for everything but that's not the case.